Having a long, thick, full beard is awesome. It makes you feel like an alpha male.
Having hot cheese, nachos, pasta, beer, sandwich, ketchup or coffee stuck or dripping from that same beard is NOT that awesome.
Hiding a snack in your beard means you don’t only lose the alpha male status, you also look messy, sloppy and disgusting.
Being aware of this is one thing. Keeping your mustache and beard clean while eating and drinking is a totally different thing.
It’s challenging and frustrating, making you lose your appetite.
That isn’t to say that, with some practice and proper tools and techniques, you can master this skill and keep your beard debris-free, enjoying even the messiest food and beverages.
After all, having a clean mustache and beard is not only important for your appearance, but it’s also vital for your overall hygiene and health.
Luckily, with the following proven tools, techniques and tips, you’ll be able to keep your facial hair tidy and enjoy your meals every time.
Table Of Contents
Tools You May Need
Throughout the ages, beard lovers have identified and developed a variety of hacks and tools to make it easier for the average facial hair man to enjoy his favorite meals without the unwanted mess.
Some of the hacks involve commonplace tools, while others require specially designed gear. Read on for an ultimate list of everything you may need to keep your beard squeaky clean:
- Straws: Straws are now your friend! They allow you to drink any kind of beverage without spillage by transporting the liquid directly into your mouth. Investing in stainless steel straws is a great way to always have this handy tool around your house while minimizing waste.
- Coffee lids/thermos: Coffee lids and thermoses are other useful tools. Because the mouth opening is so small and narrow, it is easier to avoid drippage or accidentally getting your beard hairs into your cup. Not to mention, with these tools, you can easily grab your drink and take it with you on the go.
- Mustache Guard: This specially designed tool allows you to drink from any glass or mug while protecting your mustache from getting in the way. The mustache guard is a portable mustache dam that you can attach to your key chain and take with you to your favorite bar or restaurant.
- Mustache Mug: For your daily cup of coffee at home, they also sell mustache mugs, like this one by Bucardo, which has a built in dam to protect the facial hair on your upper lip.
- Handkerchief: Carrying a handkerchief with you when you are out will not only make you look extra dapper, but it will also make it easier to quickly wipe away any accidental spills. Having a slightly damp cloth will make it even easier to wipe away any mess.
- Teaspoon: Because teaspoons are generally thinner and longer than tablespoons, they make it easier to transport food into your mouth without making a mess.
- Chopsticks: Chopsticks also make it easier to eat because they allow you to pick up the perfect, small, amount of food with each bite so that you minimize your chances of dropping bits into your beard.
- Fork and Knife: Cutting food into smaller bites will also make it easier to transport without making a mess.
General Rules and Techniques
The goal is to transport your food to your mouth with minimal spills.
To do this, it is important that you cut your food into small bites whenever possible. For liquid foods, using a teaspoon instead of a tablespoon can make this a lot easier, and once the utensil is completely in your mouth, you will want to flip it upside down before removing.
This will prevent the utensil from scraping against the hairs of your mustache on its way out of your mouth.
Tips for Eating and Drinking with a Beard
- If you have a long beard, you have probably had it fall into your bowl or plate at least once. This is easily preventable, though, by simply holding your beard back as you eat.
- Use a damp handkerchief to wipe away any spills as soon as they occur. This will work much better than using multiple napkins.
- Avoid spills on your beard by using the proper tools and utensils specified above.
Tips for Eating and Drinking with a Mustache
- Opening your mouth horizontally (like when you say “E”) rather than in a vertical oval shape will help move the curtains of your mustache out of the way while eating. This is important because it is easier to clean the top and bottom facial hair, rather than that on the sides.
- If you are still accidentally biting on your mustache hairs as you eat (ouch!), you can hold the curtains to the sides with your finger.
- If you are eating bread with butter, or anything else that has a sticky top side, simply turn the food upside down, as it will be easier to whip away if it gets on your bottom lip.
- Cut sandwiches and other foods into small strip bites to make it easier for the food to enter your mouth clear of any facial hair.
- It is easier to whip the top and bottom of your mustache and beard than the sides, so turn handheld food sideways whenever possible to avoid getting bits and sauces on your mustache.